Natural Disaster

My father wants to leave.

Sometimes I want to push him through the threshold

And lock the door behind him.

I'll tell him I've already done the hard part.

I spend my life watching two people

Make each other unhappy.

Earthquakes and storms;

We duck and we cover and we repeat.

Look at their love,

A natural disaster in their hearts.

This home is all failing memories

 and misplaced forgiveness.

Look how it bends.

Look how it breaks.

My parents are the people that refuse to evacuate

Even when the hurricane is rushing toward their doorstep.

I'm a self-appointed first responder.

There is always someone to dig out of the wreckage.

Sometimes I dig myself out of the wreckage.

I don't know how many more times we'll rebuild this house

Just to see it fall again.

Sandbags and floodgates,

All standing on crumbling infrastructure

Only delays the inevitable.

After I move away to higher ground,

I don't always want to come back.

I know they still need me for the rescue effort,

But these bones are tired of playing savior,

Tired of screaming fight or flight and always choosing neither.

Maybe it's selfish.

Maybe it's instinct,

The way this heart wants to save itself.